CONTRADICTIONS

If 1 could see what's going on with myself as well as I

See what's going on with others, I'd be "fixed" by now.

Pat

So much of our lives are glaring contradictions. We swear that we will never be like our mothers,

Then find we screeching on the same note. We

Know we would never manipulate others the way

Our boss manipulates us, and then we catch our­selves doing it.

We seem to see so clearly "out there," while "in here" is a muddle. Relax, it's all part of this addictive disease process. It's called denial. Breaking through the denial about what is really going on in our lives is the first step in recovery.      

MAYBE what we notice "out there" is what we need to see "in here." I'll check that out.

       HA PPINESS/DEPRESSION

When a small child . . . I thought that success spelled

Happiness. 1 was wrong, happiness is like a buffer fly, which appears and delights us for one brief moment, but soon flits away.

-Anna Pavlova

There is no difference between happiness and depression. They both have the same process. It is just the content that is not the same. Both will come and go. The major difference between them is what we do with them.

We are always seeking happiness. When we see it coming we say, "Ah, come here, I see you. Stay with me always." Happiness laughs and says, "Oh, she's seen me, I can leave now." And it does.

With depression, we see it corning, and we say: "Go away, I don't want you. Not me." And depres­sion sighs and says, "Here we go again, I'm going to have to get bigger and bigger for her\to hear me and learn what I have to teach." So it taps us on the shoulder and says, "Over here, over here!" until it gets our attention. Then it leaves.

Both happiness and depression have something to teach us. Both will come and go. Both will return. It is our response and openness to learn from both that makes the difference.

MY HAPPINESS is a gift. My depression is a gift. Both are like butterflies in my life.